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Pastorman: Funny quotes from a pastor radically in love with himself, by Mick Mooney
Download Ebook Pastorman: Funny quotes from a pastor radically in love with himself, by Mick Mooney
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Pastorman is without a doubt the mankind's greatest super pastor. Here in this book he shares his powerful, powerful wisdom with the world.
Research has shown that after reading this book people are smarter, better looking, wealthier, can reverse park better, get more job promotions, have whiter teeth, get upgraded more often on flights, have better eye sight, have better dress sense, have bigger biceps, smile more, understand algebra, get less traffic tickets, are at least 75% more attractive to the opposite sex, can slam dunk a basketball, can dance better, can play instruments they never learned to play, have more random people give them money for no reason, smell better, have a better tan, look more famous and in general receive a profound revelation that they are, in fact, a total legend.
Brace yourself. This book will be a defining moment in your life. Below are just a few nuggets of wisdom you will experience as you read this book. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the Pastorman experience.
“Pastorman isn't perfect. He once told a lie. However, the lie was simply telling someone that he wasn't perfect.”
“Pastorman can make a whole room fall into a deep meditation as they ponder the incredible wisdom he shares during his sermon. What do you mean they are sleeping? My young friend, they are in deep meditation!”
“Pastorman once won a dancing competition without dancing. He just stood there, without moving—and the judges were amazed and awarded him first place for what has come to be known as 'The Pastorman tango'.”
“The best dream one can have, it dreaming about how awesome Pastorman is.”
“Pastorman once asked a question so profound the only person who could answer it was Pastorman.”
“Pastorman just roundhouse kicked himself in the face. It was a heavenly experience.”
“Cigarettes try to give up Pastorman. They fail every time. Moral of the story: Pastorman is too addictive to ever give up.”
“Pastorman once swam to from New York to India just to buy a curry. It only took him 20 minutes . . . that included the time it took to eat the curry.”
“Whoever is spreading the rumor that the talking donkey in the Bible was called Pastorman, be warned, I have already sent a round house kick out to track you down. Pastorman is not a talking donkey!”
“No matter what your problem is, the solution is simple: You need more Pastorman.”
- Sales Rank: #1652067 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-03-03
- Released on: 2013-03-03
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I'm a grown man made taller by the wisdom of Pastorman (and a few round house kicks).
By Randy Blunt
If you think you know what the word "awesome" means, you are wrong. Unless, of course, you have read this book and learned the true meaning of "awesome" (hint: it starts with "Pastor" and ends with a three letter word that is the opposite sex as "woman"). If you haven't read this book yet, it is only because Pastorman has decided not to force you to read it with his thoughts. You should hope he decides to make you read it, as all who fail to partake of his wisdom, recorded in this book, are doomed for explosion or round house kicks into outer space.
Favorite truth about Pastorman: "Pastorman does not boast, he is just trying to be humble and speak the truth when he tells others that he is right about absolutely everything."
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Don't waste the 99 cents
By D. Milligan
This is just a short book full of chuck Norris jokes, except instead of chuck Norris it's "pastorman." not worth the time or dollar
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Very funny
By Jason P. Dalnoki
This book puts a smile on my face every time I read it. I am proud to say I'm a humble servant to pastorman !!!
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